Nathan W. Ho

So, my sister calls me up recently (with a grin in her voice - you can totally hear it), and tells me that a co-worker shared something with her that she wanted to tell me. Apparently her co-worker had seen an interesting bumper sticker, and found it both confusing and funny - so my sister then proceeds to toss out this phrase to me:

Subduction leads to orogeny

And I’m thinking, “what the….great, from the mind of a pervert with a truly pathetic grasp of the English language” - but she patiently asks me, “Do you know what that means? Does it make sense to you?” in a hinting kind of way. She then spells out the words for me, and I take the time to look up their meaning (which slowly come back to me from my college earth sciences class…)

Orogeny (def): the process of mountain formation especially by folding of the earth’s crust

Subduction (def): the action or process in plate tectonics of the edge of one crustal plate descending below the edge of another

So after my sister and I stopped giggling, I stopped to think about this phrase a little more. I mean, c’mon - you *know* that the author(s) didn’t intend for you to read it the first time correctly (I’m guessing a bunch of geologists who were up too late drinking came up with this one - it’s right up there with “Don’t take salt for granite” / “don’t take salt for granted”). Whomever created that bumper sticker totally expects you to read it this way:

Seduction leads to erogeny

Of course, erogeny isn’t a real word - but by inference, it leads to the word “erogenous” - which is a very well known word in the adult world today *ahem* Both phrases make sense, but one is innocent in it’s basic meaning (the meaning - NOT the author’s intent), while the other is obviously not.

So, an interesting sticker - albeit not one I’ll ever own or put on something…

My sister and I then started discussing with whom else we should share this interesting sticker statement - and we instantly thought of our older sister (who is pregant), which then lead me to come up the following list:

Reponses to “Subduction leads to Orogeny” from:

• A pregnant woman: “Shut up - I know, I’m pregnant!!” (followed by a thrown object)
• A nerdy scientist: “Don’t I wish…..umm, wait….?”
• A parent: “It had better not, or you’re going to be grounded until you turn 50!!!
• A teenager: “heh heh heh……yeah….”
• A cop: “I’m going to have to write you a ticket for that…”
• A preacher: “You’re going to go to hell for that…HUH!!!”
• A biker (motorcycle): “Heck, that’s nothing…why just last week I….”
• A little old lady: “WELL!! Back in MY day, we didn’t use THAT kind of language in public…”

Feel free to come up with your own fun response….

So, I was driving recently (to pick up a pizza, if you’re curious), and I noticed a car in the other lane with a small sticker on the back that said:

Kill Tomorrow

“Kill what?!?”, I thought, “What in the world is that supposed to mean?”. The next thought I had was a question: Did the author of this sticker intend to be extra vague, or are their english skills just truly that pathetic? There are at least four completely different, potential meanings that I can see:

1. One potential meaning could be that they want people to hold off on fighting (”killing”) - kind of a “make peace today, kill later” pacifist type of message. However, if this is what the author is intending, it’s a rather vague way of saying it. I’d guess that less than 10% of readers would ever be able to puzzle out that meaning, if that’s what was intended…
2. Another potential meaning might be the old “kill time” type of meaning - where the sticker is mean to exhort people to use up all the time they have? Again, it’s a stretch to match this meaning to that phrase…
3. The next potential meaning that I can see is a bit morbid - and that is to end one’s life. “Kill Tomorrow” as in a person preventing tomorrow from happening for themselves. I find that to be a rather odd message to advertise, so I’m going to guess that’s not it…
4. The last potential meaning that I can come up with is just a literal “kill tomorrow” - some kind of statement about stopping or preventing the literal “tomorrow” from occurring? Of course, it’s impossible for us to stop time - so that really dones’t make much sense either…?

So what am I left with? Only the surety that either this sticker was meant to be vague on purpose, as some sort of inside joke or statement - or is yet further proof positive that this generation has truly pathetic skills with their own native language…

I guess you’ll have to decide for yourself

Addendum: I had a friend recently note that perhaps “Tomorrow” is the name of a person, and that the sticker represented a personal vendetta - to which I say: if so, then the person truly is a moron for advertising their intent to commit a crime…

So, one of the new topics for my blog will be common words and concepts used in American english, for which I wish to challenge people to think about a little deeper (or to go over things that really irk me for some reason - cause hey! it’s MY blog *heh*). One of my personal peeves in communicating with a variety of people, is the lack of attention and basic understanding that the meanings of common words are not always universal. I won’t even bother to start on the subject of the horrifically poor the spelling skills of the general populace….

So this category of blog entries will cover things for which I want you to stop and think a little - I know, I know…who really wants to bother *thinking* before they speak? Well, hopefully YOU do

So let’s start off with one of the words that carries a particularly special significance to me:

FRIEND

For instance, if I say the word “friend” - what comes to you mind? Do you think of a specific person or group of people? If you think of more than one person, do different “levels” of friendship come to mind (”Best” friend vs. “Good” friend vs “Casual” friend)? Do you think of a recent event, where you spent time with some “friends”?

Let me ask another question: What would you do for someone you call friend? Would you bail them out of trouble? Give them financial help? Be there for them at 3am, when they need a listening ear?

A friend is one to whom we may pour out the contents of our hearts, chaff and grain together, knowing that the gentlest of hands will sift it, keep what is worth keeping, and with a breath of kindness, blow the rest away.

Growing up, I didn’t have a lot of friends. I say this, not to evoke feelings of sympathy, but as a supporting fact when I say that real friends are truly important to me. My first ‘best’ friend is STILL one of my best friends, to this day! So when I call someone a “friend”, it’s not a label which I apply lightly. Why not?

Because this word carries not just a meaning, but responsibility. The meaning is that the person in question is one whom I place trust and weight on their opinions. The responsibility I have is that I must be willing to provide that same level of trust and honest opinion in return.

A question you should ask yourself is this: What would you do, or not do, if a friend asked for you to do something?

“Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends.”

John 15:13 (NASB)

Jesus Christ showed us the perfect example of being a true friend. He saw the desperate need of those He loved and willingly gave up the most precious thing He had (His life) for those (us) He called friends. Would you be willing to give up your life for someone you call friend? Under what circumstances would you be willing to make that sacrifice? And if you call someone a “friend”, but would not be willing to give your life for theirs - then what *would* you be willing to give up for their sake and need? Comfort? Sleep? Money? Time? Attention?

Now, I’m not saying that you should give up everything for the whim of a friend, or to bail someone out of any given problem situation - God did call us to be careful and faithful stewards of what He has given to us (including, obviously, our lives). But the next time you call someone or describe someone as “friend”, take the time to carefully consider what you mean by that - and if you’re really willing to back up that claim…